The Reset Button

Unfortunately, life's reset button doesn't work like videos games or computers. There's no going back to just before the mistake you made. There's returning to the last known good configuration. There is, however, restoring your attitude to defaults.

Over the last several weeks I've been seeking to clear my mind of one very compelling distraction. Unfortunately, trying to stop thinking about something, whether or not it's pleasant to think about, doesn't work. It's like asking a road to not be a road. Even when it's closed, the road is a road. I went for a ride to clear my head of thoughts of the beautiful young woman I'd met, and nearly rode into the back of a car while distracted by thinking about the young woman I was trying to not think about. I went for another ride with the same end in mind, and in the space between corners, thoughts of her crept in and took over, and I realized I wasn't paying attention to the task at hand as the front wheel approached the edge of the road.

I found ways to temporarily suppress the gravitational pull of infatuation, but the ones involving motorcycles tend to inspire significant constabulary disapproval. In some of my other pursuits the risks are similarly amplified, but the approach and effect were the same. Push, hard, and I could maintain focus on something else. At the climbing gym I sent 30 problems (that's climber for climbed 30 routes) in 20 minutes. I was physically drained, but it was 20 minutes of relative clarity. I took my Kayak out under conditions which were new to me and found another couple hours of peace. Then I went for a ride just to go for a ride. Not to clear my head. Not distract myself. Just to ride. Voila!

Motorcycling is a perfect metaphor for life. Look where you want to go, not where you want to not go. Interestingly, on my recent ride through Washington's back country, I discovered that it's entirely possible to look where you want with both your head and your eyes, and still "look" where you want to avoid with your mind. Guess what happens when you do that. You go where your mind is looking, for the most part. You don't go backwards just because you looked over your shoulder. Instead, you hurtle blindly forward. This, too, applies equally to life and motorcycling. If you need to see what's going on behind you, pull over. Get out of traffic. Stop moving. Then take a good look. The view is better, you can catalog all the details, and you're not going to rear-end a stopped SUV at 60 mph. The applies to getting lost. Don't stare at your phone or GPS, trying to figure out if you should have turned, or where the nearest coffee stand is. Get out of danger and then figure things out.

Life's reset button is all about clearing memory and resetting your attitude. Everything that's happened has happened. Computers can't clear memory that's in use (well, technically..., but that's unimportant). Neither can people. If you're consciously trying to ignore something, you're using that memory, and it can't be cleared. Instead, focus on something else. Find something that requires enough of your attention to keep you occupied and do that for the sake of doing that. Clear your mind and find clarity and peace. Besides, if we go back to just before we screwed up, we just have to screw up again to learn the lesson again. Personally, I don't particularly enjoy the pain that comes with the sort of screw ups that have me looking for the reset button, so it's probably best not to go through it more often than necessary. Reset your attitude. Go for a ride just to ride, your head will clear itself.